


A Conversation between Carol and Jessie (Like, Oh my Gawd...Complete)

by I_hate_the_snow



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: Just fo fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 13:02:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8103295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_hate_the_snow/pseuds/I_hate_the_snow
Summary: This is a joke.  Like, totally...just for fun!





	

Carol knocked on Jessie's front door, hoping to have a talk with the woman who seems to have stolen Rick's heart.

Jessie let her in, and they sat in chairs in the living room, talking about Rick, and his history.

"So, Jessie, how have you been doing?"

"Okay. My owl is still ruined."

"No...I meant with Pete's death. How are you doing?"

"Like, well, I'm okay...I guess...I coulda used him the other day...there was a big spider in the garage."

"Wait...where did you get a green ponytail?"

"Oh, well, like I was a stylist, and I'm good with hair, and I have some clip ons, and I can give you one if you want."

"No thank you, Jessie. I wanted to talk to you about Rick." Carol grimaced at the constant and annoying upturn in her voice pattern.

"Sure. Like, oh my GAWD...what a hottie, right?"

Carol sighed. "Jessie, I know you think we're a bunch of outsiders..."

"The Outsiders! Yeah! Like I totally remember that book. I read it in high school. That was so sad... Poor Ponyboy. Oh my Gawd!"

"Jessie, please focus."

"On what?"

"On what I'm trying to tell you."

"About the Outsiders? Did you read it too?"

"No, Jessie, I'm not talking about a book. I'm talking about Rick."

"Oh yeah...like what a hottie...right...oh my Gawd!"

Sam runs down the stairs, and makes eye contact with Carol. He runs back upstairs and stays in his bedroom for months.

"Like, Carol…maybe you could help me. Like, I started reading this book about sex, but I'm not understanding it."

The grey haired beauty pinched the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. "What's the book, Jessie?"

The young blonde with a green clip-on pony tail hopped up from her chair and walked over to the loveseat. She got on her hands and knees and reached under the chair to pull out the book in question.

"Gotta hide this. Ya know? I can't have my kids looking at porn."

Carol took the paperback out of the woman's hand and looked at her with pity in her eyes.

"Jessie, dear, Moby Dick is a story about a whale. It's not porn."

"Oh."

"What part did you have a problem with? When they talked the ocean…didn't you realize that it wasn't about sex?"

"Well, I never got that far. Like, um, I had a problem getting into in."

Carol sighed and asked what the problem was.

"Okay, like, oh my GAWD. Call who Ishmael? Like, um…who?"

Carol slowly put Melville's classic on the coffee table and turned the conversation back to what she wanted to say.

"Jessie, I'm sure you know what happened to Rick's wife?"

"Ewww...he's married? That's not cool, dude."

"His wife died during childbirth."

"Well, if she died during childbirth, wait a sec...then how could she...I mean...like...how..."

"Jessie, his wife wasn't the baby. She gave up her life so the baby could live."

"Oh...okay. Like totally. Oh my GAWD... I totally thought that she was the baby that died during childbirth. I was wondering how...like...you now..."

"Jessie, Rick had an emotional breakdown after Lori died. We're very protective of him and we don't want to see him get hurt."

"Well he like, hurt his hand the other day..."

Carol sighed again. "Jessie, what I'm trying to say is that he has a hero complex and wants to save you because he couldn't save Lori. We don't want to see his emotions play with."

***blank stare***

"Jessie, you listening?"

"To what?"

"To me, dear. Rick still loves Lori."

"But she's dead. How can you love someone who's dead?"

"We want to make sure that he doesn't go through what he went through before. It was bad. He had hallucinations, he thought she called him on the phone, he was in a really bad place."

"Well, yeah, like a prison is where they send bad people, right?"

"Jessie. Please listen to me. Rick deserves nothing by the best. And I mean someone who loves him as much as his wife loved him. There were some bumps in the road, but they truly loved each other. Just one horrible day, she went into premature labor and had to have a C-section. With no pain medication. Carl had to prevent her from turning."

"Turning into what?"

Sigh...

"Well...so...like his little girl...Trudy."

"Judith, or Judy."

"Like Judge Judy? I used to watch her all the time. She was always so totally cool. Like...oh my GAWD!"

Carol gave up trying to speak with Jessie, and stood up to leave.

"Wait...Carol...you said Rick's wife called him on the phone?"

"That's what he thought...he was hallucinating."

"Okay, well, like, I don't know what that means, but could I have his phone number?"

Carol looked at Jessie, wondering how someone like that could remember to breath every day.

"Let's go for a walk, dear. Mrs. Niedermeyer got her pasta maker. AND she planted a bunch of pretty flowers."


End file.
